That's, like, one more.
Well, you certainly took your time coming back, but given the circumstances, I completely understand your reluctance to return…
In fact, maybe you should just stay away…
- Current Mood:snarktastic
- Current Music:Evanescence - Bring Me To Life (c'mon, you know I had to play this)
"Second Thoughts About Second Sight"
Customer: “My garbage disposal is clogged up.”
Me: “What is stuck in your garbage disposal?”
Customer: “A crystal ball.”
Me: “A what?”
Customer: “My crystal ball rolled off the counter and fell in my garbage disposal.”
Me: “You didn’t see that coming?”
Yeah, I edited slightly for how I felt that conversation had to have flowed.
and people wonder why I walked away...far...far...away...
Gothling 2, sulking: "I did everything right out of the Necronomicon, and the candles didn't even flicker. I don't get it. It should have summoned at least an imp."
Gothling 1, smarmy and oozing: "Well, it takes practice to summon the Dark Lords. I mean, you can't just call 'em up on your first time out. That's not how it works. You have to build up Power and Focus first."
Gothling 2, still sulking: "I did that! Ritual cleansing bath, Stones of Power around the circle, my Athame (pronounced aye-theme) and my Black Knife, and the three drops of blood!"
Gothling 1, smarmy and oozing: "That's good, that's good.. It's a good start, but you have to work with more Power than that. More blood, or sex, are good ways to harvest it."
At this point, I snorted a laugh - I couldn't help it. The Random Capitals of Doom that you could hear, the 'Dark Lords', the freaking NECRONOMICON.. couldn't keep a straight face.
Gothling 1, angry at me: "What the fuck are you laughing at?!"
Me: (To Gothling 2) "He's trying to get in your pants."
Gothling 2, shocked: "No he isn't!"
Me: "I'll bet you a dollar his next line was going to be an offer to help you 'Focus' and 'gather Power', either by bloodplay or offering to have sex with you."
Gothling 2: "It wasn't!" Turning to G1 "It wasn't, was it!? Tell her it wasn't!"
Gothling 1: *silent, glaring at me*
Me: "Yuhuh. Crappiest way to get into a girls pants, pretty much ever. Necronomicon as a reference tool? Puhfucklinglease. If you can buy it at Borders, just how good do you think it's gonna be?"
Gothling 2, glaring at G1: "That's sick, Greg. If you wanted a date, all you had to do was ask."
Gothling 1, still glaring at me: "I told you, it's not Greg anymore!"
Gothling 2, eyerolling: "Ok, OZRYMANDIUM, it's still shitty! Satanism is a serious business! You shouldn't cheapen it by using it to try to get a date!"
And then it was their stop, and they left the bus, still bickering.
So much snark material!
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.
Baa baa black buck,
Have you any blood?
Nine quarts full sir,
By leaf and bud.
Three for the Lady,
Three for the Lord,
Three for the Initiate
Who cuts his own cord.
And doubtless Jack and Jill stands for the Great Rite, while The Itsy Bitsy Spider represents the cycle of the year.
You are NOT a SOLITAIRE Wiccan, or even a solitaire witch. You are a *solitary* witch. A solitaire is a pretty rock, like the ones in your head, in a setting for just one jewel, or it's a game.
(On looking it up in the dictionary, I found that a solitaire is also a flightless bird related to the dodo. This strikes me as funny.)
- Current Mood: grumpy
- Current Music:the rhythmic thump of the printer